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 verbesserungsvorschläge etc. »
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Frage:
verbesserungsvorschläge etc.  
von promqueen (UN), 2009-05-23, 01:19  like dislike  Spam?  
Hey Leute ,
also ich habe hier einen Text geschrieben für den Englisch Unterricht... und ich merke selbst dass ich viele fehler darin habe... allerdings ist der Text sehr wichtig für meine Note. Also würde ich euch sehr verbunden sein , wenn ihr mir bitte mit verbesserungsvorschlägen und verbesserungen an sich helfen würdet...
danke schon mal im vorraus .
Hier der Text :

Heath Ledger was born in 1979 in Australia; he died in 2008 in New York. Heaths family was affluent.
In the age of seventeen he left the school and go to Sydney.
He doesn’t visit a drama school but in Sydney he wanted to become an actor.
In 1992 he get his first act in the Australian soap ‘Clowning Around’, then in ‘Ship to Shore’ and later in ‘Sweat’.
After 1993 Heath moved to Hollywood.
Some years later he gets acts in ‘The patriot ‘and others – 2001 was his break through with ‘A Knight's Tale’.
Some years later Heath becomes an award for ‘the best actor ‘in ‘Brokeback Mountain’.
Films like ‘10 Things I Hate About you…’ does take Heaths image in a fake light. After the failure ‘The Order ‘he doesn’t act in any teeny films anymore.
Later Heath act in ‘Brothers Grimm’ and ‘Brokeback Mountain’ and became his ‘right’ light in the business.
Heath influences the world and the gay scene with the film ‘Brokeback Mountain’. The actors, director and writer of this film had to accept many critique. It was the first movie which had show the publican that a gay love is possible like a straight love and isn’t breakable. I think many gay people give the best thank to this film.
Heath had one daughter named Mathilda Rose (born in 2005).
Her godfather is Jake Gyllenhaal.
Heath died 2008 in his suite in New York. He took to many pills (pain, pacification and anti-panic-attack). The police think that it was an accident. He was buried in Perth.
Before his death he was busy with the rotation works for the film
‘The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus’. The scenes he doesn’t act will be acted by Jude Law, Colin Farrell and Johnny Depp.
After the publication of ‘The Dark Knight’ Heath become many posthumous for example;’The Golden Globe’ and ‘British BAFT Award’ as’ the best supporting actor role’.
2009 he became an ‘Oscar’.
Heath is also the second actor who became an Oscar after his death but he’s the only one who never seen the film before – he died nearly 6 months before the film premiere.
____
I love Heath Ledger. He was a pretty good actor and was looking very handsome. His death shocked me in anyways. The fact that he never seen his own film ‘The dark Knight’ made me blue as well.
I’m lament about Heath till today.
He’s my favourite film star because he accomplishes so much without a drama-school.
His parts in films he always acts with his whole heart.
No one should forget Heath.
Rest in Peace.

___________

liebe grüße
promqueen
Antwort: 
"Heath Ledger was born in 1979 in Australia; he died in 2008 in New York."  #432004
von -Rob- (DE), Last modified: 2009-05-23, 01:35  like dislike  Spam?  
Zeitangabe immer ans Ende :

Heath Ledger was born in Australia in 1979, and died in New York in 2008.
Antwort: 
"Heaths"  #432005
von -Rob- (DE), 2009-05-23, 01:26  like dislike  Spam?  
-->   Heath's
Antwort: 
"In the age of seventeen he left the school and go to Sydney. "  #432006
von -Rob- (DE), 2009-05-23, 01:26  like dislike  Spam?  
At the age of seventeen, he left school and went to Sydney.
Antwort: 
"He doesn’t visit a drama school but in Sydney he wanted to become an actor. "  #432007
von -Rob- (DE), 2009-05-23, 01:28  like dislike  Spam?  
He didn't attend drama school in Sydney, but wanted to become an actor.
Antwort: 
"In 1992 he get his first act in the Australian soap ‘Clowning Around’, then in ‘Ship to Shore’ and later in ‘Sweat’."  #432008
von -Rob- (DE), 2009-05-23, 01:33  like dislike  Spam?  
In 1992, he got his first role in the Australian soap ‘Clowning Around’.
Later, he acted in ‘Ship to Shore’ and ‘Sweat’.
Antwort: 
Schau diese mal an aund sag miw was du denkst  #432009
von DavidCribb, 2009-05-23, 01:40  like dislike  Spam?  86.206.72...
Heath Ledger was born in 1979 in Australia; he died 2008 in New York. Heath's family was affluent.
At the age of seventeen he left the school and went to Sydney.
He didn't visit a drama school but in Sydney he found he wanted to become an actor.
In 1992 he got his first role in the Australian soap ‘Clowning Around’, then in ‘Ship to Shore’ and later in ‘Sweat’.
After 1993 Heath moved to Hollywood.
Some years later he got roles in ‘The patriot ‘and others – 2001 was his break through with ‘A Knight's Tale’.
Some years later Heath received an award for ‘the best actor ‘in ‘Brokeback Mountain’.
Films like ‘10 Things I Hate About you…’ puts Heath's image in a wrong light. After the flop ‘The Order, he decides not to act in teeny films anymore.
Later Heath played in ‘Brothers Grimm’ and ‘Brokeback Mountain’ and received his merited applause in the business.
Heath influences the world and the gay scene with the film ‘Brokeback Mountain’. The actors, director and writer of this film had to accept much criticism. It was the first movie which had showed the public that gay love is possible like straight love and isn’t breakable. I think many gay people appreciated this film..
Heath had one daughter named Mathilda Rose (born in 2005).
Her godfather is Jake Gyllenhaal.
Heath died 2008 in his suite in New York. He took too many pills (pain, pacification and anti-panic-attack). The police think that it was an accident. He was buried in Perth.
Before his death he was busy with the shooting of the film
‘The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus’. The scenes he didn't act inwill be done by Jude Law, Colin Farrell and Johnny Depp.
After the publication of ‘The Dark Knight’ Heath received many posthumous awards, for example;’The Golden Globe’ and ‘British BAFT Award’ as’ the best supporting actor role’.
2009 he received an ‘Oscar’.
Heath is the second actor who received an Oscar after his death but he’s the only one who never saw the film before – he died nearly 6 months before the film premiere.
____
Antwort: 
Es gibt übrigens die SVOPT-Regel und Zeitenregeln???  #432010
von My-Choice (DE), 2009-05-23, 01:49  like dislike  Spam?  
Antwort: 
DavidCribbs Version ist schon viel besser als das Original, hat aber noch einige Probleme  #432017
von pierznj, 2009-05-23, 03:29  like dislike  Spam?  114.76.82....
e.g.: received his merited applause in the business.
>received his deserved recognition in the business.

gay love is possible like straight love and isn’t breakable.
>gay love is as real as straight love and can be just as enduring(?)

Films like...puts Heath's image in a wrong light. After the flop ‘The Order, he decides not to act in teeny films anymore.
> Films like ... put Heath in the wrong light. After the flop ‘The Order', he decided not to act in teen films anymore.

Aber ich habe eine weitere Frage. Manchmal korrigiere ich Aufsätze von Psychologiestudenten/studentinnen. Es ist ziemlich offensichtlich, wenn Teile eines Aufsatzes von einer anderen Quelle kopiert worden sind, denn man bildet ziemlich schnell einen Eindruck von den Fähigkeiten jedes Studenten. Diese Studenten werden leicht erwischt, indem man den verdächtigen Abschnitt in Google fahndet. Also du sollst Vorsicht haben - auch dieses Forum kann man googeln! Ganz abgesehen davon, ob es eigentlich fair ist, einen Text, den du größtenteils nicht geschrieben hast, als eigenes Werk vorzugeben. Weiß nicht, was andere davon halten...
Antwort: 
NBB  #432019
von Catesse (AU), 2009-05-23, 04:35  like dislike  Spam?  
NBB: Place before Time. An alle: Place before Time.
HL was born in Australia in 1979; he died in New York in 2008.

The rest I shall leave to others.
4; pierznj: I think that teachers should be made aware of what is going on here, but Forum, as far as I know, cannot be googled for text within the entries, only for the titles. (At least, I have not been able to do so.)
It is legitimate to help students in small ways, if they are going to LEARN from the help given. The use of available sources is a legitimate technique to a certain extent. Plagiarism is not.
A cheat is quickly detected by an even halfway intelligent teacher by setting a certain amount of work to be written in class without access to assistance of any kind.
Antwort: 
Catesse  #432021
von Allan, 2009-05-23, 08:37  like dislike  Spam?  86.129.13....
If you try googling, for example, "Heath's family was affluent. At the age of seventeen he left the school and went to Sydney", there it is, right at the top of the page. Please continue to express such reservations - even though cheating is so ingrained in the system that you and I are tilting at windmills - before the forum mutates into a homework-correction or "do my homework" site. pierznj's "du sollst Vorsicht haben" might be interpreted by some as "it's ok to cheat provided you don't get caught", but I'm sure it wasn't meant that way.
Antwort: 
It's not OK to cheat in my book,  #432025
von pierznj (AU), 2009-05-23, 09:16  like dislike  Spam?  
but as you say Allan, it's probably pointless to wag fingers and preach - better simply to point out that cheats get caught all the time, assuming that their teachers aren't clever enough to google! I think it's fair enough to ask for help, and to give it to students too. I wish I had had this resource when I was studying German back in the day! It would have been invaluable to have real, live Germans to help me out, and I'm sure I would have progressed faster. But it concerns me that promqueen writes that she can already see lots of mistakes. If she can see them, I think she should fix them before asking others to do the work for her. And perhaps for students we should restrict ourselves to offering educational information, as Catesse has done, rather than simply providing a corrected text no doubt to be submitted as the student's own efforts. I plead guilty on this occasion, but I'm going to apply this policy in future.
Antwort: 
pierznj  #432027
von Allan, 2009-05-23, 09:26  like dislike  Spam?  86.129.13....
Oh, I knew what you meant ;-) The concept of the "honor system" would be unthinkable in Germany, but I understand it isn't thriving in the US these days, either. BTW, something in your nick has just occurred to me - Trenton? North Bergen?
Antwort: 
Trenton? North Bergen? You lost me. No, it's just an abbreviation of my full name :)  #432028
von pierznj (AU), 2009-05-23, 09:31  like dislike  Spam?  
Antwort: 
pierznj  #432029
von Allan, 2009-05-23, 09:38  like dislike  Spam?  86.129.13....
OK - I suddenly thought "nj = New Jersey". A thought too far early in the morning over here ;-)
Antwort: 
pierznj  #432062
von promqueen (UN), Last modified: 2009-05-23, 12:37  like dislike  Spam?  
vielen dank - an alle! - für die hilfe

ich möchte aber noch ergänzen , dass ich mir den text ja nicht rauskopiere oder so sondern wirklich einfach hilfe gebraucht habe... ich denke auch meine lehrerin wird dafür verständnis haben... ich weiß selbst ,dass sie oft mal in google etwas eingibt und schaut.. aber ich habe diesen text ja selbst geschrieben und wer ihn mir verbessert macht ja nichts falsch damit :) oder ? ;)
außerdem wähle ich mir nicht den leichteren weg und kopiere alles wahllos herraus sondern versuche diese fehler zu beheben und auch in der zukunft zu vermeiden.

vielen lieben dank
Antwort: 
promqueen  #432066
von Allan, 2009-05-23, 12:20  like dislike  Spam?  86.129.13....
Selbstverstaendlich wirst du nicht behaupten, die von deiner Lehrerin zu benotende Leistung ganz ohne fremde Hilfe erbracht zu haben, oder?  Als Quellenangabe also: dict.cc 432003
Antwort: 
Allan  #432071
von promqueen (UN), 2009-05-23, 12:39  like dislike  Spam?  
natürlich :)
ich schreibe das unter meinen aufsatz und sage es ihr auch persönlich damit sie sich das auch durchlesen kann und sieht dass ich keinen betrügsversuch ausübte sondern wirklich nach hilfe suche...

und eine frage noch :
SVOPT-Regel
was ist das für eine regel?
Antwort: 
Subject verb object place time  #432074
von Allan, 2009-05-23, 12:46  like dislike  Spam?  86.129.13....
Word order in English, for example: She did her homework in her room last night

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