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Frage:
Kann mir jemand helfen diesen englischen Text auf Fehler zu korrigieren?  
von sabomaus, 2012-06-09, 18:43  like dislike  Spam?  83.215.97....
The at hand bachelor´s thesis deals with the question if children in primary school age working with textile techniques, like knittling, knotting, chrochetting, etc. at home, can work in school more concentrative and with more patience.

At the beginning discusses, describes? the theoretical part terms like motor skills and the German term “Handgeschicklichkeit/Handmotorik”. The development of the motor skills from the beginning of human live up to the end of primary school will be analyzed.
Concentration, who continues in a special direction, will also be specified. In addition to that, which factors you have to think of when you are working with children in primary school, will be described.
The new adapted syllabus shows, how methodical and differentiational possibilities can be realized in school.
Apart from the theory, in the first part of the investigation will be analyzed, how often children age nine to ten work at home with textiles. Besides this will be discussed, if this children, who work often at home with textiles, would be much faster in working, handling with out four different items. Furthermore the teachers were asked to some children, how they work in school, relating to concentration and patience in their education.

The results will show, that children work quite willingly and often with textile techniques. The parents of this children just sometimes share their interests for textiles. Children, who work often with textiles, conform with the meanings of their teachers, that they can work concentrated in subjects like mathematics or German, too.
Antwort: 
A start -  #659557
von Lllama (GB/AT), 2012-06-09, 21:31  like dislike  Spam?  
This bachelor's/bachelor thesis deals with the question of whether primary school children who learn and do handicafts such as knitting, knotting (? macrame ?) and crochet/crocheting at home can concentrate better and have more patience at school.

As you can see, I have had to make a lot of changes - the rest is similar, and in some parts, I don't understand what you are trying to say.

Handgeschicklichkeit - manual dexterity.

I may tackle a bit more later, or someone else may answer.
Antwort: 
Typo  #659579
von Catesse (AU), 2012-06-10, 04:09  like dislike  Spam?  
Typo: handicRafts.
Antwort: 
von sabomaus (AT), Last modified: 2012-06-15, 16:35  like dislike  Spam?  
 #659599
Chat:     
knotting = carpet making?  #659600
von Lisa4dict loggedout, 2012-06-10, 10:56  like dislike  Spam?  99.11.160....
As Joannes puzzlement illustrates it's not recognizable from the word.  "Carpet weaving" or "carpet making" would be.  Or did you mean  
Wikipedia(EN): Tatting
Wikipedia(EN): Bobbin_lace
Wikipedia(EN): Macram%C3%A9
Chat:     
von sabomaus (AT), Last modified: 2012-06-15, 16:33  like dislike  Spam?  
 #659602
Chat:     
Your German text doesn't include "knüpfen"  #659603
von Lisa4dict loggedout, 2012-06-10, 12:05  like dislike  Spam?  99.11.160....
What you are dealing with isn't that the translation is wrong, but that it isn't a familiar concept in English.  (Cultural differences)  We'd commonly say "carpet making" or "carpet weaving".  
It's not a common crafts project.
compare:
http://www.makefive.com/categories/experiences/school/top-5-element...
http://www.amazingmoms.com/arts-crafts/
http://www.schoolcrafts.net/
Antwort: 
AE or BE?  #659605
von Lisa4dict loggedout, 2012-06-10, 12:49  like dislike  Spam?  99.11.160....
I don't know about the British school system, but in many US schools arts and crafts classes aren't part of the regular class schedule.  They are sometimes offered as extracurricular activities or after school clubs.  So making sense of your "Werkunterricht" is not that easy.  You can save yourself a bit of grief if you simply add what country your thesis is dealing with.  I assume it's Germany.
Another difference that deserves attention is the "preschool age." I'm not all that familiar with the German system, but I believe "Vorschule" translates to our "kindergarten", i.e. the year before the first grade of school.  In our system preschool or Pre-K would be before which confusingly enough is "Kindergarten" in German.
Wikipedia(EN): K%E2%80%9312_%28education%29
Wikipedia(EN): Kindergarten

And another doozie:  You can't translate "Klasse" with "class."  Students might take maths together with one group and then split up and have a social studies or geography in a different grouping.  The idea of "Klassenverband" will not come through.
I don't understand the phrase with "in eine Richtung hin entwickelt."  I suggest you clarify that one in a separate post.  Good luck.
My try:
This bachelor's thesis discusses the benefits of including textile arts in children's after school activities.   The effects are studied for students in German "Volksschule" secondary education preparing for vocational training.  As a first step we will test the hypotheses that children that engage in after school textile crafts activities will be able to complete tasks in the mandatory school arts and crafts classes faster.  In addition the effects of increased arts and crafts activities on students' focus and perseverence during core curriculum classes is analyzed. To this end this study starts by defining terms like motor skills, fine motor skills and manual dexterity, and traces the development of human motor skills trough the early years up to kindergarten age. <?>
We will then look at how focus and attention span tend to develop <in eine Richtung hin???> throughout a person's life. Moreover we will analyze the factors necessary to encourage focus in children.
We will shine a light at the scope of flexibility and teaching format methods offered by the new German mandatory core curriculum for textile arts and crafts classes, as in effect since revised edition of 2007.  

Two sample groups of fourth graders were asked to complete a questionnaire to gain data on how often   students did after school textile arts and crafts projects. The results are contrasted with data on how often parents do textile arts and crafts projects together with their kids. What transpired was that students have a (natural) passion for textile arts and crafts that isn't shared by their parents.  Consequently these activities aren't shared.
The respective homeroom teachers were asked about their observations regarding focus and perseverance in core curriculum subjects for a select sample of students who had been found to frequently engage in textile arts and crafts. The results confirmed the idea <im Teil??>, that textile arts and crafts classes would have a positive effect on classroom focus and good study habits.
Chat:     
von sabomaus (AT), Last modified: 2012-06-15, 16:34  like dislike  Spam?  
 #659610
I
Chat:     
Vorschule  #659623
von Catesse (AU), 2012-06-10, 15:29  like dislike  Spam?  
Nomenclature of the stages of schools is varies greatly according to locality. Over the past few years, Queensland has been shaking up its whole system, and one of the changes relates to your "pre-school - kindergarten" year. It is being called Prep (for preparatory), and it starts at age four, which cuts out what used to be the last year of kindergarten. Fairly new, and not yet available in all areas. Another name, disused for quite a while, was "Infants' School".
But then again, I think that "Preparatory School" means something different in Britain. This is a case where being too specific could lead to misunderstanding, unless you have space to explain exactly what you mean.
Chat:     
von sabomaus (AT), Last modified: 2012-06-15, 16:34  like dislike  Spam?  
 #659637
Chat:     
Oops my bad.    #659679
von Lisa4dict loggedout, 2012-06-11, 02:31  like dislike  Spam?  99.11.160....
I misread "Volksschulalter" as"Vorschulalter."  As I explained above we don't have the three tier system for secondary education.  So there's no "Volksschule" equivalent.  As Catesse pointed out so rightly, school systems vary widely in the way they are grouped and what the various stages are called.  Consequently I'd rephrase the sentence in question as:
... traces the development of human motor skills trough the early years up to kindergarten age.

Textile activities doesn't make sense to me.  "Arts and crafts" is "Werken" / "Bastelarbeit" / "Kunsthandwerk"  That is what the subject is called here when taught in school or kids do projects at home.  Your "textile" merely limits the scope of that subject to exclude other forms like paper, paint, recycling, etc.

"focus" is what it's called in education here. "concentrate" has other meanings and can lead to ambiguous phrases.  Patience = Geduld , perseverance = Beharrlichkeit.

I don't have time to go through the whole thing again.  Just a couple of things you changed, that stuck out:

As a first step will be tested || Moreover will be analyzed >> passive does not work in these phrases. Active is fine and used in English language papers.  Passive voice doesn't sound more educated and wrong usage is counterproductive.
the focus is "during ... class" not "during ... subject" >> während des Unterrichts anstatt während des Schulfachs.
"This study starts by defining" not "The study study starts by ..."
The revised curriculum of 2007 will show,  ??? not what your German phrase says. Der überarbeitete Lehrplan beweist ...??
differentiation possibilities can be realized > Huh???
pupil, BE = student, AE   You really will have to decide whether you want it to be British or American English.
to get data > is too colloquial for a thesis.  gain data / collect data / gather data
The brackets around (natural) passion mean you can leave out "natural" or add it for emphasis "von sich aus".
The classroom teachers >> the definite article "the" indicates the reader should know which homeroom teachers are meant. (I don't know what a "classroom teacher" would be.)  But you haven't defined that.  So you need "respective" to define the group.
etc.
Antwort: 
Arrgh!  Editing error.  #659684
von Lisa4dict loggedout, 2012-06-11, 07:35  like dislike  Spam?  99.11.160....
The type over somehow didn't take.  I also just found out that German "Volksschule", which is a term for a type of secondary education doesn't seem to be the same as what you describe.  
... traces the development of human motor skills from birth up to the age they start secondary school.
Antwort: 
Volksschule is primary/elementary school in Austria, the first four years of schooling from 6 to 10.  #659738
von Lllama (GB/AT), 2012-06-11, 13:02  like dislike  Spam?  
I agree that the translation will depend on whether it should be in British or American English, because so many school related terms are different, even between english speaking countries.
Antwort: 
von sabomaus (AT), Last modified: 2012-06-15, 16:35  like dislike  Spam?  
 #659836

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