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Frage:
Abstract Bachelorarbeit  
von ang_ho, 2018-05-01, 23:32  like dislike  Spam?  80.108.174....
Guten Abend,
ich habe soeben den Abstract für meine Bachelorarbeit verfasst und bräuchte dringend fachkundige Meinungen dazu. Ich wäre sehr dankbar, wenn ihn jemand reviewen könnte.
Vielen lieben Dank vorab und liebe Grüße,
Angela

Good evening,
I have just written the abstract for my bachelor thesis and urgently need expert opinions. I would be very grateful if someone could review it.
Many thanks in advance and best regards,
Angela

ABSTRACT:
"The amount of data around the world is growing rapidly and it is not leaving the hospital sector untouched. Due to the ongoing process of digitization, medical IT systems and appliances are generating a growing volume of data, which promise to bring a great benefit by analysing it appropriate. In short, big data means generating new insights from large data volumes.
Nevertheless, how can the potentials of big data be assessed? This work focuses on the strengths and weaknesses as well as on the opportunities and threats. After a brief introduction to the topic, the author reveals general applications of big data, before depicting interesting scopes in the intramural sector. In addition, the aspects of data protection law and ethical frameworks are examined in the course of the work. The current state of research, which is based on a comprehensive literature research, is hermeneutically reviewed. Subsequently, the findings are prepared by a SWOT analysis. The insights generated in this way represent the current situation of big data in the hospital sector and therefore provide a basis for deriving recommendations for action."
Antwort: 
von Sasso', 2018-05-02, 10:40  like dislike  Spam?  193.187.3...
 #890429
The amount of data that is being generated around the world is growing rapidly, and this development has not left the hospital sector untouched. Due to the ongoing process of digitization the volume of data stored in medical IT systems is constantly increasing. If this big data is to be of benefit and to provide new insights, it needs to be analyzed appropriately.

How can the potential of big data be assessed? The present paper focuses on the opportunities and threats of big data analysis in the hospital setting. After a brief introduction to the subject, the author approaches general applications of big data and considers interesting uses in the intramural sector. In addition, data protection aspects and ethical problems are examined (in the paper). The current state of research is hermeneutically elaborated through a comprehensive literature review. The findings are then subjected to a SWOT analysis in respect to the current situation in the hospital sector. The results may serve as a basis for recommending a strategy for future action.

Note:
Big data as such doesn’t have “strengths and weaknesses”
You do not “prepare” findings “by” an “analysis”.
Antwort: 
von Windfall (GB), 2018-05-02, 13:17  like dislike  Spam?  
 #890435
Talking about the strengths and weaknesses of big data doesn't sound problematic to me.

"The amount of data around the world is growing rapidly, including in the hospital sector. The ongoing process of digitization means medical IT systems and equipment are generating a growing volume of data, which promises to bring great benefits if analysed appropriately. In short, the analysis of big data will lead to the generation of new insights.
But how can the potential of big data be assessed? This thesis focuses on big data's strengths and weaknesses as well as on the opportunities and threats in this area. After a brief introduction to the topic, the thesis looks at the general applications of big data then outlines interesting ???possibilities??? in the ???intramural??? sector. The thesis also examines aspects of data protection law and ethical frameworks. It ???hermeneutically reviews??? the current state of research through a comprehensive review of the literature. The findings are then subjected to a SWOT analysis to show the current situation regarding big data in the hospital sector. The results of this analysis can be used as a basis for working out recommendations for action."

Is the word "hermeneutisch" common in your field? I don't recognise "hermeneutically" and was surprised to find it included in this abstract.
Do you really mean "intramural"? https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/intramural
Also, does your thesis propose recommendations for action or are you simply saying that someone else could work out recommendations for action on the basis or your thesis?
Also, are you using British English with Z spellings or US English? In US English analysed -> analyzed
Chat:     
von Sasso', 2018-05-02, 14:30  like dislike  Spam?  193.187.3...
 #890443
What is a strength of data? The fact that it exists?
What is a weakness of data? The fact that it can be copied a hundred times? Or is that a strength?
Antwort: 
von Windfall (GB), Last modified: 2018-05-02, 14:42  like dislike  Spam?  
 #890446
4;Sasso, the strengths of big data include that it can be used for accurate predictions and help us understand the way the world works. The weaknesses include that not all of the predictions are accurate and the data may be misleading. It is possible you should really refer to "the findings from the analysis of big data", but I don't find this necessary in English.
Antwort: 
von Sasso', 2018-05-02, 14:59  like dislike  Spam?  193.187.3...
 #890447
I beg to differ.A strength is a quality or feature that makes a thing effective or useful, and weakness is a quality or feature that prevents it from being effective or useful.

If you can use data for particular purposes, then this is the potential of data, not its strength.
If predictions are inaccurate, then this is a weakness of the predictions, not of the material they use.
Chat:     
von Windfall (GB), Last modified: 2018-05-02, 15:14  like dislike  Spam?  
 #890449
4;Sasso, and yet in English people do comfortably talk about the strengths and weaknesses of big data. One language will sometimes allow you to say things that would be considered sloppy and imprecise in another language. I've also seen a sentence in German that sounded horribly sloppy and imprecise in English, yet a native German speaker with a very strict approach to accuracy and usually a low tolerance of sloppiness told me it sounded fine in German. These things happen. And no, I'm afraid I can't remember the sentence. It would be interesting to see if other native English speakers agreed or disagreed here.
Antwort: 
I agree with Windfall on the strenghs and weaknesses of big data;  #890455
von Lllama (GB/AT), 2018-05-02, 16:25  like dislike  Spam?  
and on hermeneutically and intramural.

I find it a bit odd to say (t)his work focuses on the strengths and weaknesses as well as on the opportunities and threats but later on it seems that the SWOT analysis is only a small part of the thesis.

Also, depending whether you need BE or AE, dissertation may be better than thesis.
Chat:     
As for "strengths and weaknesses of big data"...  #890456
von dhk (DE), Last modified: 2018-05-02, 16:50  like dislike  Spam?  
...I am totally with windfall. The point is that "Big Data" is a technical term, not denoting a heap of data (in which case Sasso would be right), but rather to a novel (well, not that novel) approach to analyze large amounts of data, often from heterogeneous sources and in various formats, in ways that were not anticipated at the time the data were generated.
And since "big data" means an approach, it is perfectly acceptable to focus on its strengths and weaknesses.

Edit and PS: My interpretation of "big data" as technique or method is in line with the fragment "general applications of big data". Obviously, you cannot "apply" data. However, it may be worthwhile considering whether the fact that it is a technical term is best shown by typographic means, e.g.
Big Data
    or
"big data"
    instead of
big data
Antwort: 
von Windfall (GB), 2018-05-02, 16:51  like dislike  Spam?  
 #890457
4;dhk, I see "applications of" as meaning "uses for" or "ways of using" here.
4;Lllama, is that the thesis/dissertation difference? I remember I wrote a dissertation for my Bachelor's degree, but I also remember other people telling me their university preferred the term "thesis". I no longer remember if the other people were American!
Antwort: 
I agree, windfall, but...  #890459
von dhk (DE), 2018-05-02, 17:02  like dislike  Spam?  
it still makes only sense if you interpret "big data" as "analyzing ....of data".
"[...]the author approaches general ways to use 'large amounts of data'" doesn't make much sense to me. After all, it's the analysis results, the insights gained through analysis, not the data themselves. Wouldn't you agree?
Antwort: 
Thesis vs. dissertation:  #890460
von Lllama (GB/AT), 2018-05-02, 17:16  like dislike  Spam?  
I've only ever come across dissertations for first degrees (Bachelor-equivalent) in the UK, and theses for PhDs. Perhaps I haven't come across the right universities ;-)

And from Americans I've heard that it's the other way round there - a thesis for a first degree and a dissertation for a PhD.

I suppose as it's presumably for a German, Austrian or Swiss university, Angela should use whatever her university uses. What other universities prefer is irrelevant - so ignore that part of my first post :-)
Chat:     
von aphoenix (US), 2018-05-02, 17:22  like dislike  Spam?  
 #890461
Only the PhD thesis is a dissertation in AE.  (I can't promise that no university calls an undergraduate thesis a dissertation, but I can promise that if you call your undergraduate (bachelor's or master's) thesis a dissertation, people will be confused, and, when they find out you've used the term in a manner that seems intended to deceive, not favorably impressed.)
Antwort: 
von Windfall (GB), 2018-05-02, 17:47  like dislike  Spam?  
 #890465
4;aphoenix, I think that may be the precise opposite of the UK. I definitely did an undergrad dissertation. My friends who did PhDs produced theses for their doctorates. I have, however, never been sure if this was universal in the UK or just our particular universities.
However, I would also say that the UK is more used to dealing with US English than the US is at dealing with UK English, so if in doubt, use the US term, as in my experience it's easier to explain to UK speakers that the term you've used is a US term than to explain to US speakers that the term you've used is a UK term.
Antwort: 
abstract writing suggestions  #890467
von aphoenix (US), 2018-05-02, 18:00  like dislike  Spam?  
General comments on the abstract:  The abstract should be a brief overview indicating the content and contribution of the paper.  With this purpose in mind, the first sentence, "the amount of data...", should be dropped.  It does not tell anyone anything they do not know, nor does it tell anyone what is in the thesis.  The same is true of sentence 4.  My initial impression from reading your abstract was that you intended to discuss the sources (s2), potential (s3), concerns (s7), etc. of data that is produced, retained, etc. in the hospital sector.  Note that the potential sentence (s3) is rather weak.  It would be better to state what insights can be gleaned by examining big data.  (Here I agree with Sasso. Just because people throw around buzzwords like "Big Data" and use them to mean all sorts of things doesn't mean that it isn't better to be precise and say what you actually mean.  If you mean the analysis of large and/or multiple data sets, say so.  If you mean the potential for misuse of large data sets, say so.)  I recommend the following changes.  Delete s1, s3, and s4.  Rewrite s5 as follows:  "This work focuses on the strengths and weaknesses of techniques for "big data" analysis, and on the opportunities and threats inherent in the collection, retention, and analysis of this data." Move s8 to before s6. (I assume your literature review is part of the introduction, not appended gratuitously in the middle of the paper.)  You could say, "In the introduction, the current state of research, which is based on a comprehensive literature research, is hermeneutically reviewed."  (Actually, that is very wordy.  Better to say, "A comprehensive literature review establishes..." where the rest of the sentence indicates what your review has determined.")
In s6, replace the  "after..." clause by "Then," or "Next,".  Whatever it is that you mean by "depicting interesting scopes in the intramural sector, "  you should say it specifically rather than making a vague allusion to it.  In s10, don't state the obvious.  State what actions your research indicates are necessary.
"ABSTRACT:
(s1) The amount of data around the world is growing rapidly and it is not leaving the hospital sector untouched.
(s2) Due to the ongoing process of digitization, medical IT systems and appliances are generating a growing volume of data, which promise to bring a great benefit by analysing it appropriate.
(s3) In short, big data means generating new insights from large data volumes.
(s4) Nevertheless, how can the potentials of big data be assessed?
(s5) This work focuses on the strengths and weaknesses as well as on the opportunities and threats.
(s6) After a brief introduction to the topic, the author reveals general applications of big data, before depicting interesting scopes in the intramural sector.
(s7) In addition, the aspects of data protection law and ethical frameworks are examined in the course of the work.
(s8) The current state of research, which is based on a comprehensive literature research, is hermeneutically reviewed.
(s9) Subsequently, the findings are prepared by a SWOT analysis.
(s10) The insights generated in this way represent the current situation of big data in the hospital sector and therefore provide a basis for deriving recommendations for action."
Chat:     
von aphoenix (US), 2018-05-02, 18:02  like dislike  Spam?  
 #890468
4;Windfall, Thanks.  That is good to know.
Antwort: 
von aphoenix (US), 2018-05-02, 18:06  like dislike  Spam?  
 #890469
4;dhk, You state that "big data means an approach".  What approach, precisely, do you mean?  I am not aware of the term "big data" referring to a single approach.
Antwort: 
aphoenix  #890517
von dhk (DE), 2018-05-03, 11:40  like dislike  Spam?  
As I wrote above "approach to analyze large amounts of data, often from heterogeneous sources and in various formats, in ways that were not anticipated at the time the data were generated."
You don't "do big data" by just storing large quantities of data somewhere, right? When you "do big data", you integrate large quantities of data, from diverse sources on heterogenous format. And of course you analyse them, most likely using specific tools, in ways and with targets unforeseen at the time the data was created.
I won't claim that this is a comprehensive description of Big Data, nor do I think that there is an unanimously accepted definition already, but I venture to say that without the topics above (integration, heterogeneity of source and format, volume, analysis, specific tools and unforeseen targets) one shouldn't label a particular activity as "Big Data".
Chat:     
von aphoenix (US), Last modified: 2018-05-03, 17:43  like dislike  Spam?  
 #890541
4;dhk, exactly.  "Big Data" is not an approach. "Big Data" is a topic heading under which people sweep a multitude of methods and issues related to the topics you mention and others.  You've done a nice job of explaining it.  The author has not.  The author of the abstract says "In short, big data means generating new insights from large data volumes.  Nevertheless, how can the potentials of big data be assessed? This work focuses on the strengths and weaknesses as well as on the opportunities and threats. After a brief introduction to the topic, the author reveals general applications of big data, before depicting interesting scopes in the intramural sector"  In the first three sentences, the author means something along the lines of "Processing and integrating information from very large datasets can has the potential generate new insights into medical, sociological, ... questions.  However, data analysis presents both opportunities and threats to society.  This thesis assesses the potential benefits and costs (threats) in several current application areas."  That should be followed by a clear statement of whatever the author means by "depicting interesting scopes in the intramural sector".  Rhetorical questions, "how can the potentials..." don't belong in the abstract.  It's fine to put them in the introduction, but not in the abstract.  An appropriate statement for an abstract would be "this work provides a framework for addressing the question of..."  Of course that's only appropriate if the paper does actually do so.
Antwort: 
Every now and then it happens:  #890542
von dhk (DE), Last modified: 2018-05-03, 18:26  like dislike  Spam?  
I couldn't agree more.
I was not, as you did in a laudable fashion, trying to rewrite the abstract, but rather explain why you could use the phrase "strengths and weaknesses of Big Data" because the term refers not to a heap of data, but rather an approach (or bag of approaches. Or methods).
I failed to notice the fact that the abstract - among other deficiencies - doesn't give an operational working definition of the term. And yes, I would rewrite the abstract too, but then again: I always advise people to write the abstract after they're done with the main work. Things are likely to change in the course of time, aren't they?
If, for technical reasons, a short abstract is necessary, I'd just state the research questions and methods used, together with a working definition of the the main concepts.

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